New Year - Same Issues

So, 2012 is here, and Jan is just around 1/2 over.

I decided for some new stuff.  Hair dye - check - but not enough that anyone will notice.  I'm a subtle type of gal. New Bible study - check, it just started. Reading the Chronological Bible - not doing as well there as I would like, but I am not giving up.

Then there are the "same issues" I'm in the midst of a stressful time at work, it comes around every two years. Still have mom here and she is having less issues of a physical kind, but more of the mental kind. Its like having a petulant kid, yet there is nothing I can do about it. Its not trainable.  You cant discipline it away.  She refuses to eat some dinners I cook, even though I KNOW she likes it.  Which my youngest child doesnt understand why she had to eat her dinner if grammy doesnt. talk about some stressful dinner times!!!

But I am blessed.  The Lord has provided a wonderful husband, two beautiful smart healthy girls, and a stable income for us. I love spending time with my little family.    I have three dogs that love nothing more than me to sit in the floor with them and them climb all over me and love on me.

35.

Today is my 35th Birthday.  I didn't really dig the idea of turning 35.

35 sounds so....

Grown up.
Mature.
Adult.
Established.

Of which, I am none.  I don't feel any of those.  I feel like I'm still 25 - well except I'm more tired than I was then, my eyes are worse and I have some grey hairs, and some annoying creaks.

Turning 30 didn't bother me at all.  It didn't phase me, was just a blip on the radar.

Maybe its because when I was a girl dreaming, I figured I'd have "it" all figured out at 35.

I don't.  What I have figured out, is I'm not sure what "it" even is. What I have figured out, is I'll never figure it out.  I don't control it. I can plan 7 ways till Sunday, but unless its God's plan, its useless.

A song from Casting Crowns new album really puts it into perspective for me. Its called "Your Already There"
Thank GOD He's already there. He knows I am just bumbling along on this path before me, trying to find my way following Him and trying to keep His word a light unto my path. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail, but I'm grateful for the blood that covers me, and the Father that picks me up and dusts me off and sets me back on the path.

I'm so grateful that even when I don't have "it" figured out, God knows where we are headed.
Its so comforting the words to this song I've added "bold' to the lyric that really speaks to me.

From where I'm standing
Lord its so hard for me to see
Where this is going
And where You're leading me
I wish I knew how
All my fears and all my questions
Are gonna play out
In a world I can't control.

When I'm lost in the mystery
To you my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

From where You're standing
Lord, You see a grand design
That You imagined
When you breathed me into life
And all the chaos
Comes together in Your hands
Like a masterpiece
Of your picture perfect plan
When I'm lost in the mystery
To you my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life

Waiting on the other side

And You're already there

You're already there

One day I'll stand before You

And look back on the life I've lived

I can't wait to enjoy the view

And see how all the pieces fit

Here is a link to the video if you want to hear them sing it. 


I love the whole "come to the well" album, but Already There and Come to the Well are my favorite tracks.


"when you are runnin' on empty, and you can't find the remedy, just come to the well" 
"just rest in my arms awhile, you'll feel the change my child, when you come to the well" 
leave it all behind, and come to the well...

Your pursuit of perfection (leave it all behind)

Your fear of rejection (leave it all behind)

Your temporary pleasures (leave it all behind)

All your earthly treasures (leave it all behind)

Dried up empty religion (leave it all behind)

Rusty chains of addiction (leave it all behind)

All the guilt that weighs you down (leave it all behind)

Just leave it all behind and come to the well

The Pencil

This information was part of our mother/daughter retreat this weekend, and the speaker told use we could freely share.  Its about a pencil.  An unassuming, plain pencil.

The pencil maker told the pencil 5 things before he put the pencil in the box to be sold.

1) You will be able to do MANY great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in someones hands.
2) You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but you need it, to become a better pencil.
3) You will be able to correct the mistakes you make.
4) The MOST important part of you will ALWAYS be what's on the inside.
5) On every surface you are used, you MUST leave your mark. No matter the condition you must continue to write.

How does this apply to us?

1) You can do MANY things if you reside in God's hand, and allow other beings to access the many gifts you possess.

Isaiah 41:10 Do Not fear for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with My righteous right hand.

2) You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time by going through trials and problems, but you will need it to become a stronger person.

Isaiah 43:2 "I will be with you when you pass through the waters and through the rivers; they will NOT overwhelm you. You will NOT be scorched through the fire, and the flame will not burn you."

Ecclesiastes 10:10 If an ax is dull, and one doesnt sharpen the edge, then one must exert more strength; however, the advantage of wisdom is that it brings success"

Zechariah 13: 9 "I will but this third through the fire, I will refine them as silver is refined and test them as cold is tested. They will call on my Name and I will answer them. I will say, They are my people, and they will say, the Lord is our God."

Prov 27:17 "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another"

3) You will be able to correct some of the mistakes you might make, and grow through them, and learn from them.

Phil 3:13 "one thing I do; forgetting what is behind, and reaching forward to what is ahead"

Ephesians 4:22-24 "You took off your former way of life, the old man that is corrupted by deceitful desires. You are being renewed in the spirit of your minds, you put on the new man, the one that created according to God's likeness in righteousness and purity of the truth.

Romans 12:2 Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know God's will for you, which is good, pleasing and perfect"

2 Timothy 3:16-17 All scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong, and teaches us to do what is right.

Phil 1:6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus

4) The MOST important part of you will ALWAYS be what's on the inside.

Prov 27:19 As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person

I Sam 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, "Don't judge by his appearance, of height, for I have rejected him.  The LORD doesnt see things the way you see them.  People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart"

5) On every surface you walk, you MUST leave your mark.  No matter the situation serve God in everything. We leave a mark, on everything - will it be a dirty smudge, or will we point to God?

Lev 19:17-18 And to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.  Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, o God until I declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come.

Psalm 66:16 Come and listen, all who fear God, let me tell you what he has done for me.

Deuteronomy 6:1-3 these are the commands, decrees and laws the LORD your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, so that you, your children, and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, so that you may enjoy long life.  Hear O Israel, and be careful to obey so that you may go well with you, and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the LORD the God of your fathers promised you.

The Challenge:

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 Hear O Israel, the Lord our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart, your soul, and your strength.  These commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children, talk about them when you sit at home, and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of you houses, and on your gates"

Whatever

So I took my oldest daughter to a mother daughter retreat sponsored by our awesome church, and the theme was "Whatever".

If you are a mom, hearing "whatever" probably - as my grandma used to say - "turns your teeth sideways".

BUT the lesson was about using flipping that flippant disrespectful "whatever" into something that you can use every day.

The first session was based on "Whatever" and Phil 4:8 "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or or praiseworthy - think about such things" and what the world throws at us.

The world - you aren't good enough.  Us standing on the promises of God - Whatever.
The world- you are ugly. Us- Whatever
The world- you are fat, stinky, weird - insert your favorite negative thought- Us: Whatever.

I loved it! It so spoke to the moms and daughters there.

There are many more lessons I will blog about, including an AWESOME parable about a pencil,  but after staying up till 1, waking up at 6, and hiking and climbing and rafting all day, I just don't have it in me.  Maybe tomorrow.  :)

My belief - my choice.

Note: this message will apply most to people who have already accepted Jesus as their personal Savior and Lord of their Life.  If you haven't this note will probably tick you off (actually, if you have, it might as well).  If you want to talk more about Jesus, and his Love for us all, I will be glad too discuss,  Jesus has changed my life more than I ever ever dreamed would happen.  Because of Him, I live. Because of HIM I hope.  Because of HIM I make it in this crazy crazy world of today.

Proverbs 31:8-9,  Psalm 139:13-18, Psalm 22:10, and Jeremiah 1:5

These are the verses the Lord has given me over the last week.
They further affirm my choice.

Do you realize, that 53 million babies have been aborted since Roe vs Wade was decided?  FIFTY THREE MILLION BABIES.   Of those 53 million babies, less than 1% have been conceived in rape.  Less than 1%. 4000 babies a day are aborted in the US.  4000 babies! A DAY!  The supreme court said then, that their decision would be different if person hood had been defined!  For 30+ years the church has turned a blind eye because we didn't want to "step on toes" or "cause an issue".

Well, the Jesus I love, he turned tables over in the temple because the money changers were there - misusing God's Holy house.  What do you think he would do or react at the thought of people willfully murdering the children He begged we let come to Him? Granted, this wouldn't be the only issue he'd call America out on, but it would be one of them.  He would have VERY harsh words for most of the American "church".  We CAN take a stand, and still love people.  We are supposed to take a stand, and still love people. ALL people. Even the ones voting No. I pray they turn, and realize the fears they have are from the enemy, who WANTS to destroy us.  I also pray that I see that its not them we are fighting against.

In the last week, more and more the Lord has said to me:

Am I, the I AM creator of life?  Me: Yes.
Am I, the I AM author of life? Me: Yes.

Its pretty black and white to me now.  Either God created and creates life, or He doesn't. Either I trust God, or I don't.  I will be honest, it wasn't, and I didn't. . I blogged that already.  I was deceived. I bought the lies.  I worried in fear about the "what ifs". I don't anymore.  I have complete peace about my vote. And I pray that more and more Christians see the light that we are called to be in this dark depraved world. A world that is so dark these days, many of us are convinced that this killing of innocents is ok!

I can not let the common worldview that says I can be religious but keep it to myself keep me from voting the way I feel I should. People attack with hateful hurtful comments when they feel their worldview is being attacked.  I've been told I lack "common sense" - good - I don't want common sense, I want God to guide me.  Granted, I have been attacked way less than some of my other friends. Maybe my contacts sense there is no changing me so they've decided to not bother - maybe I haven't been vocal enough, and if so, that's a problem.

Also a lie: that this is a "separation of church and state issue" : Separation of church and state has NOTHING to do with me using my belief in God and His word to guide me in my voting decisions. The Bill of Rights says: "Congress shall make on law respecting an establishement of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof" - CONGRESS shall make no law. I'm not Congress.  So it does not apply to me or my church using Gods guidance to vote on this issue.

Also a lie: This would charge women who miscarry with murder or their doctors if they don't prevent it:
Mississippi state law ALREADY declares a child in the womb to be a human.  The homicide code has already established this - if a woman is killed with the intent to be killed, and her baby - anytime during the gestation from conception to birth - is also killed, then the guilty party is charged with TWO murders.  Mississippi law ALREADY protects doctors from this - if the mom and baby or mom or baby die in the effort to save one or both lives, doctors and medical professionals are PROTECTED - ALREADY!  Look it up of you don't believe me.  Want the Code numbers?  It would take serious legislation to over turn these.
Mississippi Code: 97-3-97, 11-7-13, 97-3-19

I believe He does create life. So I vote Yes.

I also believe: if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14 (The Good Lord above, can sure see our land needs some healing!)


But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened. But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord.  Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.  But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. It is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God.1 Peter 3:14-18

Probably going to lose friends over this - My View

I cant be silent any longer.  I realize, this may cause a backlash, comments and nasty emails.  I realize, friends may "unfriend" me, or "unfollow" me, gossip about me in the hallways and elevators, but that is ok.  


I am 100% unapologetically prolife. 


Until the other day, I wasn't.  I lived in fear. Fear of the unintended consequences, Fear of what to do when faced with a rape victim, how to talk to her, how to look her in the eyes and say she shouldn't kill her baby.  Fear for friends who have experienced the horrendous pain of ectopic pregnancy.  I researched the issues myself, read all the websites, looked up the parent and partner organizations (and still feel that Planned Parenthood is way more evil than any on the other side - but read their info yourself and decide). 


Unintended consequences followed the Supreme Court Decision of Roe V Wade.  Would anyone then, have ever thought, that the "Right" to an abortion would lead us to the culture of if you are pregnant just get rid of "it" and move on?  I personally know several women who have decided to abort (for birth control, and yes, even rape) and regret it, spending years dealing with the pain. 


A beautiful sweet friend of mine stood up in the face of hate and spoke her peace, about her story - its her story, and so many other women's too. Her story, has changed my opinion.  In case you missed it, here it is again: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBojovBw1-M&feature=share


This is what I wrote to her the day after I watched her video - 

"I wanted to tell you Sunday night, but we were up in the balcony and then I never saw you in the reception, but the Holy Spirit called us to pray - really pray - intercede for strength for you. I didnt have a number for you and didnt think about fb till just now. I finally figured out why when I saw the video. You have no idea how God has used you, and I don't fully know either. But I do know how he used YOU to change ME! 

I've been at every point on the abortion spectrum in my life time, from staunchly pro-choice in college, to pro-life myself but I cant tell you want to do, to pro-life except in rape/incest. 

I began to waiver in my pro choice-ness when a friend of mine, in college, struggled for 10 years with the guilt of her abortion - to the point she sent a copy of the receipt every anniversary to the father...until she found Jesus, was healed and was able to burn the receipt and find the peace that her baby was ok.

I became pro-life for me but not tell anyone else what to do when I heard the heartbeat of my sweet Hannah. 

Then, I became staunchly pro-life for everyone but rape/incest
when I saw the 6 wk ultrasound of my Emma, when we thought we were going to lose her so early - I KNEW in my heart of hearts that babies are babies before mommas even know they are mommas, but always struggled with the I cant look at a rape victim and tell her she shouldnt - until today, when I watched you.

You are more than a survivor, you are a champion, and I just pray I can be as gracious as you when explaining my beliefs. 

Today, I became 100%, heart breaking for the pain women endure, pro-life - Thank you Ashley, thank you so much. 

I honestly didnt know how to vote on the issue because of the rape/incest part - until today. I've struggled with know it was right, but not knowing how to handle the terrible pain of rape, having never been in those shoes. Thank you thank you thank you, and praise JESUS for putting you in my life."


Will there be unintended consequences?  Maybe.  But the God I serve is big enough and loves all of us enough to prevent that, by putting people in the right places to do his Will. 

Having the Courage to Stand

I love this lady, that shares her experience in the video below. Having never been in her shoes, I've struggled with "this portion" of the abortion issue. I know her well enough to know she gives God the glory and thanks JESUS for the words, but she says it so beautifully, and I am so proud to call her friend, and sister. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTTGJzTpE9g&feature=youtu.be


Please, when you consider an issue, and as its our right to vote, pray to God the Father, who puts all governments into place, and vote as He'd have you vote. Do not listen to other people, websites, news, radio - anything but God. 

I personally, have had my views changed for me over the years.  I've always been pro-life, in a "I could never do that but I cant stop you" way, until I met and heard Gianna Jessen speak, just before I saw the tiny grainy ultrasound photo of a precious little girl I know at 6 weeks term.

I, like Ashley in the video above, am 100% pro-life.  Every life is created by God the Father for a purpose, no matter what the circumstance.  I pray that Jesus will break my heart for what breaks His, and tell the truth with compassion and in His name, as beautifully as Ashley does. This issue doesn't just hurt children, it hurts women and men, just as she says.  I have personally known others who have struggled with the weight and guilt of a choice they thought they had no other choice but to make, and if they could have only been reached, so much pain could have been avoided.